Killua is Fat!
by xXKanpekiXx
Summary: Gon dreams up a really crazy idea...is Killua secretly FAT? Oneshot super dumb drabble. Total crack!


Hola! This is my first time writing in the HunterXHunter domain and I'm sorry that this story is the one I've posted. I was in the middle of watching HunterXHunter AND Death Note...XD I ended up writing this little drabble in between making myself lunch and watching anime. It didn't turn out well...I apologize... I have done better!

Anyway, this idea popped in my head because I was just really bored and was thinking about how lucky Killua is that he can eat so much and still be so skinny XD. Of course, with my twisted mind, I allowed Gon to dream this idea up. Depending on how you guys like it, I may take the story down and re-do it or just take it down. I may leave it up, but I don't know XD.

**Killua is Fat!**

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It was dark out, there was no mistaking that, but the group of Hunters camping in this particularily forboding part of the forest was not affected by the darkness at all thanks to their well-prepared fire. With all of the other tedious cliched camping chores completed, there was only the problem of sustinance left.

So, as should be mentioned now as to avoid confusing you in the future, Killua the friendly neighborhood ex-assasin was out of earshot, off hunting down some food for the group.

And by food, I mean anything and everything that could be eaten and was foolish enough to come close to the hunter.

Starvation was not an option.

Never.

Which is what brings us to our main point. Gon, ever curious and ever so observant, had noticed something about Killua. Well, it's nothing that everyone around them hadn't seen, but Gon was certainly giving the matter more attention. And as Gon sat by the fire, mulling these thoughts around in his head, he decided to share them with Kurapika and Leorio who were currently arguing about something or other, Kurapika having the upper hand as always. Paying no attention to the debate at hand, Gon interjected with a random shout.

"Hey! Kurapika, Leorio…I've been thinking…" He said, trailing off as he relapsed into intense thought.

The president of the "I Hate Spiders" club Kurapika was glad to abandon his dispute with Leorio and replied with a polite "Yes? About what?" Leorio, having realized that the debate had stopped, listened with mild interest as Gon spoke again.

"I think Killua's fat."

Dead silence.

A suchronized "What?" came from both parties as they stared on at Gon in amazement. Never a dull moment…

"I think Killua's fat."

Kurapika, first to recover, did a graceful facepalm and said "We heard you Gon, but what makes you think Killua's…fat?" The boy across from him tilted his head and looked very confused, but offered his answer nontheless.

"Well, it's not like he _shows _it, but he must be REALLY fat! I mean, look at how much he eats!" He motioned his arms widely as if to express Killua's true size. Kurapika fought bravely, but the laugh that was creeping up on him won. It was just so ridiculous.

Killua? FAT? The boy was far from it. He burst out laughing much to Gon's displeasure.

"Hey! I'm serious! When we were at Heaven's Arena, he told me that he spent 20 million Jenny on FOOD in just 4 years!" This stopped Kurapika's giggles. Leorio too looked astonished. "…Are you serious, Gon?" Feeling that his point was going over well, Gon nodded keenly.

"But…but that's got…that's just not…healthy…I…_really?_" He received another nod. Leorio straightened up in what seemed to be intense deliberation and he started fiddling with his fingers. He seemed to be counting something. "That can't be right!" Leorio shouted, nearly bursting poor Kurapika's eardrums. He shot the loudmouth a disgruntled look before settling back down. "I don't care how much exercise being an assasin requires, you can't be that thin and still have eaten that much. It just doesn't add up…If he were a normal person, he'd be dead by now or would be diagnosed with diabetes…" His pre-med experience came through for once.

Of course, now finding more and more inconsistencies both medical and just plain common sense, the three hunters dreamt up extravagant ways that Killua was hiding his supposid fat and the reasons he may have for doing so. These surreal ideas ranged from him simply bandaging himself down to mixing chemicals that would dematerialize his extra fat. Before they knew it, an hour had passed with them just sitting around, thinking about how their friend may have been fat all of this time without them knowing a thing.

They continued to debate, completely unaware of the increasingly bloodthirsty presense approaching them. "…So you think I'm fat, huh?" The icy voice pierced the enthusiastic conversation. Gon turned around and shot Killua a sheepish look.

"Ah, Killua. I was just…saying you have such a wonderful figure for someone who eats as much as you do. I wanted to know your secret." He laughed, scratching the back of his head, not noticing Leorio and Kurapika's simultanious facepalms.

Leave it to Gon to fearlessly insult an assasin without actually meaning to.

On the bright side, Killua didn't look like he was going to kill someone, partly because he was amused by the randomness of this whole ordeal. No, he wasn't going to kill them. This was too entertaining.

But he would have to beat them just a little…teach them not to talk behind his back…

The next morning, Gon found what seemed to be the skin of a very large reptile, wide and with very thin skin. It stretched almost like it was made of polyester. It looked to be some sort of clothing, possibly. It was skin colored, but it was unlike any piece of clothing Gon had ever seen. He would have brought it to the group's attention, but it was then that his stomach growled and he trotted off to find himself some breakfast.

Unbeknownst to Gon, Killua had been watching in the shadows. He cursed silently and retrieved his stomach wrap. It was the only thing that kept him from brusting through his clothes. He was glad Gon hadn't figured anything out.

He had been close…very close.

Thankfully, his friend had found no real importance in the issue and dropped it as quickly as it had come.

Killua would never live it down if his friend found out that he was just as pudgy as that idiot, Milluki… Thank god for liposuction and stomach straps!

JUST KIDDING!!!!!!

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What a dumb little drabble. No flames please, I know how bad my work is.


End file.
